Just a thought

Have you ever thought about how much freedom you would experience if you had no debt. No school debt, no house debt, no credit card debt. Money seems like such a limiting thing. IT is so stressful an overwhelming at times to even think about money. If someone were to just take that debt away... how freeing it would be. Think about this in terms of what Christ did for us. We had so much debt. SIN DEBT. We were so guilty, yet he took it all. There is no more sin when you turn you life over to him. What a freeing thought. I am so thankful that Christ died on the Cross so we could spend Eternity with HIM! Now that is freedom.

Afloat

So one of my best friends... you know who you are girl... gave me a CD the other day. I have her to thank for the song I have posted on my blog and put the lyrics below. I probably listen to the song 5-10 times a day. :) For real. Do you ever feel like you are sinking? We feel sunk. Many of you know that Jon and I have been struggling this year. Between his seizures and my infertility and other things like my grandma's death it has been a bumpy road to say the least. It is all we can do every morning to get up and "stay afloat." Last month was a terrible month for me. The IF clinic was thinking I did not even ovulate. This month they gave me double dose and I over reacted to the medicine. I over reacted so much that it formed cysts that were so huge that we had to stop the cycle and they said I have to take it easy for a week or so until they figure things out. She said I could continue with my daily activities. When I told her... so that means I can still run... she said no not for a little while. I guess running is not every one's daily activity. :) If I do anything to intense the cysts could burst or turn and that can be life threatening. As I was leaving the nurse says "I have maybe seen this happen once or twice before. That is so rare." Of course it would be. We had to stop our cycle and now evaluate and wait to see what the next step will be. WAIT a word I am not too fond of. In the middle of all of this we have had to increase Jon's meds also and the side effects have not been the greatest. Hope is what we need. I know one person who has really been praying this for us. I told her our hope fell out of "the car of life" on one of the HUGE speed bumps we went over along the road of life. I told her that we need to back up and find it. I know it is out there. After this week I just threw my hands up and YELLED... "GIVE ME A BREAK... I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!" Why do I think I should get a break though... I did not sign up for an easy life either. I signed up for a life to serve Christ. If this is what is apart of it... to bring HIM glory so be it. It is not about me or Jon. It is about HIM, the maker of heaven and earth. Our hope comes from Christ, who we need to look to and rely on everyday we wake up. We seem to forget that though. He is our strength, our hope, and the reason we have life to begin with. This road may not be easy, but if it is what HE has called us too.... He will keep us afloat.
Matthew 14:28 - 31
"Peter said to Him "Lord if it is you, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand a dntook hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Afloat
Floating with the wind, I am drifting east…It’s like I calmed the ocean still and put the waves to sleep…But the tides are changing, no it ain't the same…There lies a faith in the absence of control they say…One step forth, and I try to get back…a coward's fear on trial with the weakest faith in man…you called me out of my comfort, you called me out of the boat…To walk on my own alone, alone…Sometimes I am lost on the open water…Sometimes I am thrown by the wind and the waves…Sometimes I am swimming in the deep end…Can I stay afloat, stay afloat…The ocean is deep below my feet…afraid of what’s to come, so I slowly start to sink…I was waiting for my ending, but then you grabbed my hand…Just like I knew, you would you would…chorus…In the rain, there is a storm, barely breathing as I paddle, I am sinking - does it matter?...In my final breath, my only hope, You come to save me…

Superheroes... meteor freaks... and other random thoughts

Who would you be if you were a superhero? I have thought about this a lot. I have not figured it out yet. If I were to get saved by a superhero, it would definitely be superman. Haven't you always dreamed of being swept off of your feet into the air and then to be put back down in a safe place? I have.

Meteor freaks is another interesting thought. On smalleville, the best show ever, there are meteor freaks. These are people who were affected by the meteor shower and have special powers. One day Jon and I were sitting at an appointment of mine... which happens at least once a week right now and we decided to come up with meteor freak powers for people we know. I will not mention names, I will just say the power. I will say that Jon's meteor freak power is passing out so that he can forget things. (This was when we were not sure why this was happening and tried to make light of it!) My meteor freak power is freezing anything that I touch since I have "ice hands." As for our close friends... no names mentioned
One friend has the power to appear to be other people. This person can conform into anyone or anything. (There is actually a hilarious story behind this person. Jon once thought she was me, and therefore put his hand on her butt. Then he realized it was not me. Even more hilarious we truly don't look that much alike. I have super long legs and she does not at all. I am pretty tall 5'8 and she is probably 5'4 or 5'5. I think that it is hilarious. So thanks to that moment that is now her meteor freak power.)
Our other friend has the meteor freak power to take on every single persons headaches therefore having a headache 100% of the time. One of our friends has the power to go into a bathroom that someone just pooped and cannot smell a thing, therefore does not care. The last one that we came up with for now was one of our friends is able to laugh a lot. Everytime this person laughs they have the ability to feel "high."
Sometimes it would be nice to have a power.

The Unknown

Do you ever fear the unknown? I sure do. I actually will admit that it is my number 1 fear in life. Recently my husband, Jon, has been passing out at random moments. I know... Weird huh? It happened Jan 3rd, Jan 4th, Jan 25th, and Today January 28th. In the beginning of January we started taking him to the doctor and he had to go through all kinds of tests that turned out to be of course, normal. We now are pursuing the possibility of it being small seizures. We will be seeing the neurologist soon.

What is the scariest part of it all? The unknown. When will it happen? Why is it happening? What is it?

I like to be in control. I know you are surprised. When I am not, I literally go crazy. Maybe this is one of those lessons I just need to learn. Let go. I am not in control. I never have been and never will be and that is OK. The maker of Heaven and Earth controls my husband and my life. Why would I fear? He is the one who has given us life!

As you walk through life and the big U word hangs heavy on your heart just remember...
Isaiah 41:10
"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."

Did I fail to mention?

My best friend reminded me of some things I failed to mention. I have sensitivity to gluten and peaches. The gluten allergy leads to fun nights of trying new recipes that are sticky and gooey. It also leads to many items that end up in the garbage. At least it gives me the great nick name of "the glut". I am also allergic to numerous medications and herbs! Who is allergic to all natural vitamins? Pick me!!! Every time I go to the infertility specialist and they say that they are going to put me on medication... LOOK OUT. I may just break out in hives, not be able to breathe or act like I am high and then crash. I may also be keeled over because of the bloating feeling that it gives me. I guess that is how I react to hormone shots. I just recently am finding that out :). Chalk it up to the oversensitive uterus. I know... You are so Jealous.

Hidden Talent

OK so I did not know that I had a hidden talent. What is that you ask? Well my hidden talent is being overly sensitive... period. End of story. I realize that I had an overly sensitive personality when I apoligize for something that I did not even do wrong. I also realize it when I start crying at a Biggest Loser episode or an American Idol story.

The next overly sensitive thing that I have, is my skin. I remember when I was in seventh grade I broke out to nothing. My face swelled up and I looked like a person from another planet. Putting lotion on it made me look even worse. Talk about worrying about self image... I was not off to a good start. I also had another one of these episodes when I went to Africa and got Sun poisoning. I literally looked like a person on Star Trek. I almost died on the plane because I could not breathe. Thankfully the Lord provided 5 physicians to be on the same plane sitting right behind us. They gave me some good drugs to help with my issues of being overly sensitive.

The next thing that I just found out recently was when I was visiting with my infertilitly doctor. My husband and I starting seeing him in October. We have been having issues getting pregnant. We decided together that this would be a place to start. After many prayers we decided to visit with Dr. Marcus. He was 99% sure that I had endometriosis because of my symptoms. When he performed surgery on me, he found no endometriosis. Suprise Suprise. He then proceeded to say that I have an overly sensitive uterus. This is why I am in so much pain most of the time. Of course I would. That goes right along with my hidden talent of being overly sensitive to literally EVERYTHING.

I know that most of you wish that you had my hidden talent. Someday I will train people in on how to be an overly sensitive person. That is me 100%. :)

The Beginning

OK so I am not a blogger. Not yet anyway. I am going to try. This blog is just going to be a journal of thoughts along this journey we call life. Random at moments? Definitely. Hopefully it does bring Glory to Christ and hope to others. I am going to start out by saying... Life is not what we expect it to be... but Christ never disappoints. No matter what.