Afloat

So one of my best friends... you know who you are girl... gave me a CD the other day. I have her to thank for the song I have posted on my blog and put the lyrics below. I probably listen to the song 5-10 times a day. :) For real. Do you ever feel like you are sinking? We feel sunk. Many of you know that Jon and I have been struggling this year. Between his seizures and my infertility and other things like my grandma's death it has been a bumpy road to say the least. It is all we can do every morning to get up and "stay afloat." Last month was a terrible month for me. The IF clinic was thinking I did not even ovulate. This month they gave me double dose and I over reacted to the medicine. I over reacted so much that it formed cysts that were so huge that we had to stop the cycle and they said I have to take it easy for a week or so until they figure things out. She said I could continue with my daily activities. When I told her... so that means I can still run... she said no not for a little while. I guess running is not every one's daily activity. :) If I do anything to intense the cysts could burst or turn and that can be life threatening. As I was leaving the nurse says "I have maybe seen this happen once or twice before. That is so rare." Of course it would be. We had to stop our cycle and now evaluate and wait to see what the next step will be. WAIT a word I am not too fond of. In the middle of all of this we have had to increase Jon's meds also and the side effects have not been the greatest. Hope is what we need. I know one person who has really been praying this for us. I told her our hope fell out of "the car of life" on one of the HUGE speed bumps we went over along the road of life. I told her that we need to back up and find it. I know it is out there. After this week I just threw my hands up and YELLED... "GIVE ME A BREAK... I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS!" Why do I think I should get a break though... I did not sign up for an easy life either. I signed up for a life to serve Christ. If this is what is apart of it... to bring HIM glory so be it. It is not about me or Jon. It is about HIM, the maker of heaven and earth. Our hope comes from Christ, who we need to look to and rely on everyday we wake up. We seem to forget that though. He is our strength, our hope, and the reason we have life to begin with. This road may not be easy, but if it is what HE has called us too.... He will keep us afloat.
Matthew 14:28 - 31
"Peter said to Him "Lord if it is you, command me to come to You on the water." And He said, "Come!" And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, "Lord save me!" Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand a dntook hold of him, and said to him, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"
Afloat
Floating with the wind, I am drifting east…It’s like I calmed the ocean still and put the waves to sleep…But the tides are changing, no it ain't the same…There lies a faith in the absence of control they say…One step forth, and I try to get back…a coward's fear on trial with the weakest faith in man…you called me out of my comfort, you called me out of the boat…To walk on my own alone, alone…Sometimes I am lost on the open water…Sometimes I am thrown by the wind and the waves…Sometimes I am swimming in the deep end…Can I stay afloat, stay afloat…The ocean is deep below my feet…afraid of what’s to come, so I slowly start to sink…I was waiting for my ending, but then you grabbed my hand…Just like I knew, you would you would…chorus…In the rain, there is a storm, barely breathing as I paddle, I am sinking - does it matter?...In my final breath, my only hope, You come to save me…